August 10, 2013

Hello World! Part Two: My Creative Journey

The beginning of my creative journey can really be traced back to my family.  I remember afternoons with my grandma - painting and watching Bob Ross transform a blank canvas into life-like forests.  I remember sitting (patiently?) as my mom drew whatever pictures my sisters and I described to her.  During our annual summers at the family cabin, my cousins and I invented art contests and sat around coloring (yes, even when we were in high school!).  It was a rite of passage to be part of creating a Cabin Times "newspaper" for the aunts and uncles, informing everyone of the most important weekend tragic crayfish funerals and the top Horseshoes scores!  We were a creative bunch...

At the young age of six, I guess I expressed enough interest in art that my mom enrolled me in an art class.  I don't remember too much but the canvas I painted hangs in my living room as a source of inspiration and (not going to lie!) happy pride in my artsy First Grade self! 

By that time, the love of all things artistic was firmly cemented in my heart.  I was sure I wanted to be an artist when I grew up.  I would spend hours drawing detailed pictures of the life I saw around me or what I imagined my life to look like some day.  Well into high school my love for art, particularly pencil drawing, was a way for my to release my feelings and create beauty that only existed in my mind.

But the years rolled on and I went to college, fell in love and got married.  Soon kids followed and my more traditional ways of artisitic expressions fell to the wayside. My creativity was still there, it was just making itself known in different ways, through painting and transforming our home, sewing and re-inventing clothes, making gifts for family and playing around with craft ideas I discovered on Pinterest. 

While I was pregnant with my first child, a beautiful little girl, I was struck with the urge to create for others.  To make a business out of creating beautiful things.  I would think of products to create but nothing really fit, nothing made me want to keep creating.  The entrepreneurial desire would ebb and flow, making appearances a few times a year.  I would do some planning but would always give up before I even got started.  The reason?

I was scared.

What if no one likes what I make?

Holy cow.  Those people on Etsy.  I'm not nearly as creative.  I can't compete.  

I don't have any unique ideas.  It will never work.

For years, I believed these things.  I compared my creativity to others and fell short.  Even though that little fire inside me kept burning, I could extinguish it with my lack of courage.

But then...something changed....

(....To be continued!  Part three of my journey is next!)

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